April 8, 2008 / Mom April 8th seven years ago. A day that has played over and over again in my mind these seven years. A day I wish so desperately I could go back and change. Why, what if, if only….over and over again. A day I just can not accept. You should not have died. There was no reason for it…it served no purpose. I’ve had people say it was God’s will, or that there is a reason. If there is a reason that I haven’t gleamed yet, it can not be a good one. You are so dearly loved. So many hearts have been shattered by your loss. Our lives are forever turned upside down without you. I think of the joys in your daughter’s life that you are not a part of. I think of the guidance you always gave your brothers that they no longer receive. I think of the future that you will not be a part of. Where is the reason? I can’t find it. We had you for 25 years. In comparison to so many others, we should be grateful for those 25 years. You were a gift. Such a wonderful gift. That is why my heart is so broken. No parent could ask for a more loving child. Like Doug once said, you weren’t perfect but you were damn close! Guess you know your little brother is going to be a dad, again. Another girl. He is going through a tough time right now. Please stay close to him and guide him through this difficult time. He has been handling it pretty well, I think, but I worry about the outcome of it all. He is so very much like you. A look, a word, that crooked smile….and I see you. I also see your heart in him. Please keep a special eye on him and help him make the choices that will make him happy. And I also guess you know that Charlie has decided to get married again! That was a real shocker! Really thought he wouldn’t go down that road again….or at least it would be a long while before he let someone else into his life, but he shocked us all. Of course, they aren’t rushing in to anything…probably be a year or so. She seems like she might be just the perfect companion for him. I hope so. He’s been through enough. Seven years since I last heard your voice. Seven years since I last touched your arm. Seven years since I last saw your face. I stumble through the days and think at least once during each day, what Mother said so many years ago…This is not the way it is supposed to be. But we go on because we have no choice. We go on because we don’t have the power to change what has happened. It takes a conscious effort to focus on the now and the future. My mind spends so much time reliving the past and playing the “what if” game. Even though I do not have the power to change the past, even though I do not have the power to make the “what if’s” come true, it doesn’t stop my mind from going down that road. People think it is good to “move on.” I’ve moved….just not away from you. You are inside me, just as you have always been. My first born son, my love, my life…and now my Heavenly Angel. I can’t move away from a part of my life. Most people understand that but then you still have those that feel discomfort when I speak your name, or tell a story that includes you. Well, all I can say is they just will have to learn to deal with their discomfort. Whether it be seven years or seventy years (not likely because that would me a VERY old woman), you will be a part of me, a part of my life… my child. You are with me today, my dear….just as you are with me each and every day….every day since January 29, 1976 when I first looked upon your beautiful face. You were my Angel then just as you are now. You left me way too soon but I will see you again….this I know. Until that day comes, please know the love I have for you. A love that has not or will not ever faultier. Love you now and forever, Mom
THINKING OF YOU TERRY / Tammy Mom To Andrew Cardwell (Angel Family )
Not long enough... / Melinda McClung (Friend)
Yesterday was your "Angel Wings" anniversary day. And I remember thinking, "I only got to know Terry for a short time but what a lasting, sweet memory I have of him. I only wish I was still knowing him". I know we all think that. I don't know if you can ever, ever comprehend what an impact you had on so many lives and what an impact you are still having. Even though I can no longer hear that wonderful, deep chuckle of yours coming from your mama's office, I can still see the pictures of you and remember that smile. And I can see that smile (and those beautiful blue eyes) in your precious daughter.
Even though we can't change the events of the past, we try. We try to wish them away, we try to make it all go away. But we do that for ourselves. We do that because we want you back. But would it be fair, even for just one minute of having you back, to take you away from the arms of Jesus? The arms that hold you up and make everything right for you? The arms that will someday point you toward the people who love you who have come to be with you? And if we did have you back for that brief moment, we would still have to let you go again. Please share that peace you have now with the people who love you. They know that you are with them in their hearts. You may not be here physically, but you will never, never go away in our hearts and minds. You smile that beautiful smile on us when our hearts are breaking and let us know that we will someday be ok, we will someday see you again. In the meantime, we keep your pictures close, we talk about you and tell other people what a sweet, special person you are Terry. You will never be forgotten.
REMEMBERING YOU TODAY TERRY; / ROSE GRMA TO ANGEL BRITTANY SYFERT (BRITT'S ANGEL FRIEND )
PRECIOUS TERRY:
WE OFTEN THINK OF BYGONE DAYS,
WHEN WE WERE ALL TOGETHER.
THE FAMILY CHAIN I BROKEN NOW,
BUT MEMORIES WILL LIVE FOREVER,
TO US, YOU HAVE NOT GONE AWAY,
NOR HAVE YOU TRAVELLED FAR,
JUST ENTERED GOD'S ETERNAL HOME,
AND LEFT THE GATE AJAR.
THINKING OF YOU SWEET ANGEL AND YOU LOVING FAMILY TODAY ON YOUR ANGELVERSARY,SENDING YOU ALL LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS. GRMA ROSE
God Bless You Terry on your Angel Date xoxo / Tina~Mom To Angel Michael Grayson (Angel Friend )
God Bless / Family Of William Myers
God Bless you Terry
Yet Another year without you is about to come & go / Mom-March 13, 2008 Seven years. It doesn’t seem possible. How many times have I said that? It is just so unreal. I still think of things I want to call you up and tell you about….I still think of you as being just a call away. Instead, I have to come here to talk to you…to tell you how very much I love you and how our lives are not the same without you. I find myself, almost daily, thinking about what life would be like now if you were here. Daydreams that I so dearly wish were true life. In my heart I know your trials on earth are over but selfishly I so wish you were still here with me and your precious Kaitlin. I’m confident you watch over her and know what a wonderful young lady she is becoming but I often think of how much she could benefit from having you here in her life. She is so very much like you….the gentle sweet heart…your gorgeous blue eyes….
April 8, 2001 our lives changed forever. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I had the power to go back to April 7, 2001 and know what I know now. I think of the choices I made in my life and that if only I had made a different choice, things would be different now. With any choice that is the case….that is the nature of choices….but I can’t help but think, if I’d done this instead of that would Terry still be here? I usually come to the same answer….I think he would. If I hadn’t chosen to get a divorce, If I hadn’t chosen to move our family, if I hadn’t chosen to stand back when in hindsight I should have stepped forward….if only………………………………………………………………..if only I knew then what I know now. I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined losing you. Now you are gone and I can’t bring you back. I look at the desk plaque you made me so many years ago that reads: #1 Mom and think I wasn’t such a great mom….I didn’t save you. I let harm come to my child. All those years of worrying and guarding you from anything that could remotely cause you harm and the one time I really needed to be diligent…I wasn’t there….I didn’t see it coming.
People say “he was,” “you loved”……Well, YOU ARE and I LOVE…….As long as I have a breath in me, you will always be and I will always love you…there are no past tenses. I remember early on stupidly hesitating when the subject of how many children I have came up…..didn’t take me long to realize that was a stupid thing to let cause me a problem…..I HAVE THREE SONS. I did on April 7, 2001 and I still do today! Think I hesitated because I knew what the 2nd and 3rd questions would be….”where do they live?” “what do they do?” And the door would be open and I wasn’t ready to handle it. I’ve also been asked since it has been seven years, if it gets any easier. Hard question to answer. Easier? No…. Changes? Yes. Non-belief into reluctant acceptance….heart wrenching anguish into deep sorrow... but NEVER easier.
Mom’s angelversary is on Monday,,,,then yours 3 weeks later, Jan’s a week after that and then Jan’s birthday two weeks later, and two weeks after that David’s. All my Angels, I miss you so. If you live long enough you have to eventually bury your loved ones…but I had to bury all of you way too soon. Especially you. I should NEVER have had to bury you.
All my love, my child. I pray you feel the love I have for you. I pray you know just how much you are loved and missed each and every day. Until I see you again, know that you are forever in my heart, forever in my thoughts, and forever a treasured part of my life....Mom
Day 2191 / Mom Today is day 2191. Yesterday, your angelversary date, was so hard. This year it fell on the same day of the week - Sunday, and on Easter Sunday, as well. For weeks your brothers, Trish, and others asked about Easter plans. I didn't want to think about an Easter celebration and would probably have let the holiday pass unobserved if left alone. But they didn't give up so I knew we'd have to do something. And, as with all other holidays, you were there, too.
Victoria spent Saturday night with us and we decorated eggs. One kit had little egg "tattoos", and you would know there were tattoos that were totally "YOU!" So, you had your special eggs and guess who found them ???? Your darling, of course! I picked up her Easter basket pretty last minute, but found just the perfect one (think you had something to do with that, too). It had some small tea candles in it and she lite one for you. It burned all day. A constant reminder that you were there.
The kids found all the hidden eggs in record time. Think next year we are going to have to hide them a little bit better! They are growing up so fast. Kaitlin is a little lady. I know you are watching over her and can see what a wonderful person she is becoming---- so very, very much like her dad. Her heart is as warm and loving as yours. She is truly your greatest legacy.
Another year without you is about to come and go... / Mom
This time of year is especially hard. So very many anniversaries.... Mom, Dad, Geri, Jan, and You. January - April are the hardest months.
But I prefer the strong emotions of remembering to the possibility of letting an anniversary or birthday go unremembered - unacknowledged. But I know that could not possibly happen. You are always with me - day and night - day after day - week after week - month after month - and year after year. As long as I am, so you will be also. Love and miss you more than mere words could ever express. Take care of each other.
Gone from my sight but always in my heart - Son - Richard Terrence (Terry) Hatten 1/29/76 - 4/8/01 Mom - Lois Thompson 7/20/28 - 3/17/97 Dad - Gerald Thompson 01/31/27 - 09/10/04 Sis - Geraldine (Geri) Free 09/10/48 - 01/12/97 Sis - Janis (Jan) McKenzie 04/27/53 - 04/16/97
Lights of Love / Mom
Every year since 1997 on the second Sunday in December The Compassionate Friends (TCF) hold a Worldwide Candle Lighting in memory of all children who have died too soon.
The event is held at 7:00 p.m. for one hour in every time zone to create a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe to honor and remember all children who have died. As candles go out in one time zone, they are lit in the next zone, to create a virtual 24-hour memorial--candles to encircle the globe. Lights of Love Can you see our candles Burning in the night? Lights of love we send you Rays of purest white.
Our child we remember Though missing from our sight In honor and remembrance We light candles in the night.
All across the world Shining into space Can you see the candles burning From this human place?
Oh, our angel gone before us Who taught us perfect love This night the world lights candles That you may see from above.
Tonight the globe is lit by love Of those who know great sorrow, But as we remember our yesterdays Let us light one candle for the morrow.
We will not forget - And every year in deep December we will light special candles in love and remembrance of our precious Angel.
In Loving Memory of our Son, Brother, Father and Friend Terry Hatten
Thinking of You / The Famly Of Brent Allen Bowden Read >>
Tributes and Condolences
PRECIOUS TERRY:
WE OFTEN THINK OF BYGONE DAYS,
WHEN WE WERE ALL TOGETHER.
THE FAMILY CHAIN I BROKEN NOW,
BUT MEMORIES WILL LIVE FOREVER,
TO US, YOU HAVE NOT GONE AWAY,
NOR HAVE YOU TRAVELLED FAR,
JUST ENTERED GOD'S ETERNAL HOME,
AND LEFT THE GATE AJAR.
THINKING OF YOU SWEET ANGEL AND YOU LOVING FAMILY TODAY ON YOUR ANGELVERSARY,SENDING YOU ALL LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS. GRMA ROSE
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